I've lost more than 5 lbs, finished off the last of my clients' projects and put my own things in order as best I can and now, I'm ready to begin work on myself and my own books! I'm really re-thinking not only how I'm going to play better tennis but also how I see myself. I guess it's been a long time since I thought about how I really want to look and I can tell you I've spent a long time in the wilderness, so to speak. I've gone from wanting to be slim (oh well....as slim as I can get anyway) to wanting to give up a lifetime's struggle against being obese.
But the more I think I about it, the more I'm convinced that i'm just stressing myself out struggling to fit into some stereotype that I'm genetically not capable of becoming. So what I've decided is that it's okay if my body isn't all that slim or muscularly defined. What's more important is that I can look good in clothes even if I'm bigger than conventionally accepted. That's what I love about the Japanese (other than their pottery, language, food and national costumes among other things). For all that their society and culture is so rigid in so many ways, when it comes to sexy, they are so very accepting of so many different body types. Like bear men, for example.
Okay, so I don't have enough body hair to be a bear, but I have always found their big men - muscles with some body fat - to be extremely manly and sexy. So what if some people call them "tubby" and think they could stand to lose a few pounds? They're strong, confident and have no hangups about wanting to be willowy in the least. And after "doing some research" I've defined in my own mind what it takes to be a smooth "panda" - the Asian equivalent of a hairy western "bear" man. Big shoulders, big chest, big legs! Something like my friend, Po, who's Chinese. I think he's sexy as hell. AND he's a nice guy with loads of artistic talent, too! So okay, I might not be able to grow any hair on my face but who cares. I'd be happy to look just a bit like him any time!
2 comments:
As long as you're comfortable in your skin - and, at the least, reasonably healthy overall - it's best to simply be comfortable about it, I'd say. How we look doesn't matter to the people that truly matter.
But it does to me. Ha ha ha Haven't you noticed yet what a dreadfully vain pot I am? Besides, being comfortable within my own skin isn't an option if it means having to live with aching leg joints and potential mobility problems as I get older.
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