It's been nearly two months since I deleted all my pictures and posts and decided to start all over again here and it's been an eventful time. For starters, I found out exactly how many members of my family on-line at Facebook cared enough to ask if I was okay after I was threatened with physical violence by a gang of thugs. None. Not a single one. And one or two even accused me of not posting about it at all. A bit laughable since so many of my friends from other countries saw the post and did ask if I was all right. And then, I found out that my own father had blocked my posts so that nothing I posted would ever appear where he could see it. And this was all from my kid-safe profile, mind you. Nothing I post from my Adults-only profile ever appears on any of my relatives' pages because I know they allow their kids to log-in using their profiles.
So it's taken me two months to come to terms with the unexpected discoveries. I admit I went into a tailspin of deep depression. But then, I finally decided that what the adults did wouldn't change how I felt about any of my nephews or nieces and that the most important thing was to focus on that and ignore their parents actions. And of my father wanted nothing to do with me on-line, that was his right and his decision and it shouldn't prevent me from doing what I consider to be my duty as the eldest son (the prodigal as he's said so often...note, he never added the word "son" at any time, either). But then, as if for good measure, the gods decided that I should develop a fingernail infection that prevented me from working with clay on the potter's wheel, and after that, tear a calf muscle just as I was nearing the end of my preparations for a local tennis tournament.
But I'm stronger now. I guess it's really true what they say. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And I decided to take this as an opportunity to do all the things I'd put aside, like handbuilding and sculpting with drier clay as well as going to the gym and swimming more regularly. I but the bullet and joined a nearby 4-star hotel's health club so that I could do those things. And when my calf got better, to start (very carefully) rebuilding certain tennis techniques and strokes from the ground up again.
I'm still not where I want to be yet, but I've lost most of the weight I gained during the months of depression and I'll be starting my secret tennis training soon. And I think I look a lot better than before, too. So I guess I can't complain. After all, I managed t get away for a week at Pattaya at the end of May, and with the money I've saved, I'll be able to go again in a few weeks' time. So I'm not really hurting any more because I've decided not to let any of those people hurt me ever again.
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