Friday, January 10, 2014

I'm finally 55! Yippee!


The Lunar New Year is just a week away now but I'm still in mourning so no red packets or giving away cookies this year. Luckily I don't have to remain celibate as well! Anyway, I'm officially 55 today and it seems like a good time not only to take stock of where I'm at but also where I'm going.


For starters, I've been a butterfly for so long now that I really can't see myself trying to get into a relationship of any kind. I just can't find the will or the energy to have to drop whatever I'm doing (whatever that might be) just to keep some one else entertained. I love my writing, drawing, pottery, tennis and weight-training too much to sacrifice any of it just because someone else living with me is too bored to find something useful to do. At this stage of my life, I need peace and quiet to prepare for my last great going away party - not more drama! 

So it looks like more trips to Pattaya are in my immediate future. Maybe it's one of the results of getting old, but I prefer my naughty stuff in brief intense bursts nowadays while I get on with the rest of my life and death.

Shocking that I'm preparing for death? Not really. I've always known that a long life isn't in the cards for me. So while I can, I want to make sure that I don't go leaving a mess for other people to clean up behind me. Besides, I've spent years preparing for the fact that once I can't enjoy physical pleasures any more, I'l be trying my hardest to come back as a family ghost who'll ZZZAAPPPP anyone that makes my beloved nephews and nieces unhappy. I've promised the kids that and I've always tried my best to keep all my promises.

And I really need to start writing The Book of The Butterfly and The Dragonfly, too. It's subtitle is A Crazy Uncle's Grimoire so that says everything anyone needs to know.

But before I start spilling any wizardly secrets, I need to get into better shape. If I should die before I manage to strut my stuff at Dongtan Beach again, I do not want the undertaker to mistake me for a pig and bung my old bod into the wrong oven! 


Wednesday, January 1, 2014

New Year's Day 2014

It's the first day of 2014 today and I'm looking over the edge of a precipice. I just weighed myself and I am just two pounds away from hitting the 200 lb mark. Horrors!!! I have not been this fat for so long now that I can't even recall exactly when I last came this close to it.

I have got to do something about it or, knowing myself and how much I can stuff in my face when I let go, I could very well go back to my old weight of 250 lbs in next to no time. Desperate times call for drastic measures! I am going to have to begin a thorough programme of weight training, tennis and some form of control over how much and what kind of food I poke between my lips!